Here’s an episode that starts out with a vagina shot, just in case you had Netflix confused with any television network. The picture was posted to prisonpoon.com, which means either an inmate is taking cell phone shots of herself to post online, or a guard is doing it. Since the guards tossed all the bunks so thoroughly looking for that screwdriver a couple episodes ago, they figure it must be a guard. The hypothetical guard’s case is not helped when the real guards immediately post clip art of a mustache and a “wanted” caption on the photo. They call it “Photoshop,” but that is an actual word that means things and it does not mean clip art. The extra attention on the guards, though, means that Pornstache can’t sneak in drugs to the inmates. Under more direct questioning, none of the guards will admit to seeing anything weird, although it’s clear from their demeanors that they have not been looking.
Healy’s getting flak from all sides, mostly about the chapel still being unusable. Taystee proves to be the last straw when she complains about not being able to control the TV channel and he just gives her complete control so he doesn’t have to hear any more. Naturally, a near-riot breaks out. Healy decides to bring back the Women’s Advisory Council (the WAC from the episode title) and all the candidates promptly throw their hats into their respective rings. See, elections are the time that the racism becomes official because there’s a representative elected from each “tribe.” So while discussing their intentions, each group takes the opportunity to be all kinds of racist, as a motivational tool. Healy asks Piper to run for the council because they “work well together.” She politely declines. Miss Claudette joins Piper watching the candidate speeches and affirms that this is not a job any sane person would want. When Miss Claudette points out that all of the inmates are watching the speeches, Piper realizes her opportunity and runs to the bathroom to use the stall with a door. That’s where she finds the illegal cell phone, complete with crotch shots. Piper wanders the empty dorms, looking for someone to tell her discovery to, but Red doesn’t hear it and Alex’s pillow just thinks Piper’s being creepy. I agree. Healy trashes the votes and announces the winners as the people he wants, including Piper.
Piper gets a visit from her mother, who never ceases to pick away at what remains of Piper’s sanity. Piper tries venting later to Nichols, but Nichols points out that she is maybe complaining from a place of deep privilege. Which she knows about, because this week’s flashback belongs to Nichols! She wakes up in a hospital after a heart infection, which her mother gleefully informs her is usually linked to dirty needles and also she tested positive for a few different drugs when she was admitted. Ooh, her full name is Nicole Nichols? That is not giving your child her best chance in life. Red was the one who held Nichols when she was going through withdrawal when she first arrived at the prison, which is why Nichols calls her Mommy. Alex and Nichols have a really cute conversation about being addicts from different sides – that Nichols was addicted to the chemicals while Alex was addicted to the power and money that dealing provided.
Piper tries to make amends, apologizing to Polly, who won’t answer her calls after the “chicken incident” and to Alex for being an asshole (because Larry lied so she thinks she was an asshole instead of right). Polly finally does answer the phone in a moment of hormonal vulnerability and forgives Piper. Larry admits to Piper that the magazine article he tried to sell somehow turned into an article about having a finacee who’s incarcerated. She first lashes out, although he’s right that her prison sentence does affect more than just her. She realizes he’s right and asks for some time to process this information, which is rational. She also sees a prisoner greet her boyfriend as “Diablo” and realizes that the stall with a door that’s always taken is where the prisoner talks on her phone to her boyfriend but since she calls him Diablo they think she’s talking to Satan and leave her alone.
Dayonara slaps her mother in the yard, because clearly she has learned about her mother trying to seduce Bennett, but we don’t know how it ended. We find out later when Dayonara and Bennett finally do meet in the closet that he turned Mom down, and despite the concern about “inappropriate relationships,” she strips him down, uncovering his prosthetic leg. It doesn’t seem that she already knew about it, but she doesn’t let it slow her down, to his great relief. Later, when she meets him in the yard and tries to tell him that she feels like a freak, too, it doesn’t go as smoothly. But they are still cute enough to work past it.