Lazy Writer Recipes: Crispy Chicken Salad

DSC_0724I know, I haven’t posted in a while! I’ve been busy. Which is always the excuse, isn’t it? I ended up calling in sick to work the day before Halloween (the first time I’ve ever done that, by the way – I’ve spent many years temping or otherwise not having access to sick days). I had one of those deep-chest coughs that means there’s probably something living in there. So I spent the day sleeping and mainlining Robitussin, and the evening finishing sewing my Halloween costume and making cookies and brownies for the office. And the next morning I woke up with no cough. It was a miracle! So I got dressed up, brought in the cookies and brownies, and had a fabulous day. My boss said, “I’m not implying at all that you did this, but you know if you want to take a day off to work on your stuff you can just take a day off, right?” Which, of course that’s what it looked like. Who’s ever heard of a 24-hour cough? And my boss was being very nice. But truth be told, no, I can’t just take a day off. Because I will always be too busy and overwhelmed. I’m not happy if I’m not going crazy. I do it entirely to myself. There’s no reason that I have to hand-make presents for all of my cousins’ kids every year (15 this year!) except that it makes me crazy and I love it. Skipping work to deal can never be an option because they’ll never see me again.

And so, I bring to you a 2-minute recipe: Crispy Chicken Salad. This one was inspired by a real recipe a friend sent to me that I liked the concept of, but it was full of foods I don’t eat and steps that I’m just not going to do. (Make my own dressing? No.)

YOU WILL NEED:
Breaded chicken (you can get a bag of pre-cooked strips or breasts in the frozen chicken section of your grocery store)
Salad mix (I’ve taken to buying the big tubs for $5 and trying to eat it all in a week. YMMV)
Salad mixin’s (I like sugar snap peas and shredded carrots. The crispier, the better)
Peanut dressing (if, like me, you cannot handle spicy foods, be careful with this one. You can find non-spicy peanut sauce or dressing. Look in the ingredients list for prominent placement of peppers like siracha or cayenne. Trader Joe’s only has spicy. I found a good one in my local Pavilions next to the Worcestershire sauce.)

First, put a couple pieces of chicken on a small plate or paper towel and microwave them. I find about a minute and a half is good for my microwave. Since the chicken is pre-cooked, you don’t have to worry for your health if it’s underdone. You just want it to be hot so it’s tasty.

While the microwave is going, put your salad mix and mixin’s into a bowl.

When the chicken is done, cut it into small pieces and add it to the salad.

Pour your peanut sauce on top. Done!

PROS:
Two minutes. BOOM!
Super tasty. And crunchy. Basically, a party in your mouth.

CONS:
Very easy to get into the habit of doing it every day. Which is not, all by itself, a bad thing, but you need variety in your life.
The cats can’t lick the bowl when I’m done because there’s nothing in this that interests them.

SHOULD I SERVE THIS TO OTHERS?:
As the Simpsons said, “You don’t win friends with salad.” But if they’re already your friends and you know they don’t have an allergy to peanuts, then go for it. Just make sure they know that it’s all about how easy it is to make and NOT how they need to be eating more salad. They look fine. There’s no such thing as clothing that’s made to look good on all bodies, so if that cute dress in the store didn’t fit, that’s the fault of the dress and not your friend. Peanut sauce! Yum!*

*”Yum” is a word used to trick toddlers. Don’t use it on your friends, unless your friends are toddlers.

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About Generation Coax

I am an aspiring TV writer, amateur photographer, and craft hobbyist.
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