Lazy Writer Recipes: Office Cookies


My cookies are always the talk of the office, so I thought I’d share my secrets:

  1. Get the blue roll. The yellow roll is grainy. Go blue. And the roll. Don’t pay twice as much for the pre-sized ones so the brand can tell you you make cookies too big. Everyone likes big cookies. I usually get 14 from a roll. (If it’s an occasion that everyone is bringing food, like a potluck, plan on one cookie per person. If it’s random, like your birthday, plan on two. Also plan one for each parking attendant or security guard you’ll likely see.)
  2. Make the cookies the night before you need them. I like to have two cookie sheets going so I can swap them out. Scrub the cookie sheets well first.
  3. Bake the cookies at 350 until they’re just a little brown and flat. If they’re inflated, they’re not quite done yet. (Unless you’re just making them for yourself. Personally, I love half-baked cookies, but it’s not a good idea to serve them to other people that way.) Remember that they’ll keep cooking for a couple minutes after you take them out of the oven, so don’t wait until they look perfect – that’s too late. I usually find 8-9 minutes is right if the oven’s pre-heated.
  4. While the next sheet is baking, let the freshly-made cookies cool for at least 5 minutes. Once they’re cool enough, they’ll pop right off the cookie sheet once you touch them with a spatula and retain their cookie shape. Layer them on your serving whatever (I use a wicker tray, above) so you can prepare the sheet with the next batch of cookies.
  5. Once you’ve made them all, turn the oven off and let it cool for a bit. Cover the cookies with tin foil. Once the oven no longer qualifies as hot, put the cookies back in. Make sure the oven stays turned off. You don’t need to bake the cookies anymore, but just being in the oven will keep them pleasantly warmed so the next day everyone will think they’re fresh from the oven. Which, technically, they are, I guess.
  6. Take all the credit. But if someone asks if there are nuts in the cookies, make sure to tell them that they’re from frozen, so they may have been contaminated in the plant. There’s ego, and then there’s playing with someone’s allergies. But people who are allergic will ask.

About Generation Coax

I am an aspiring TV writer, amateur photographer, and craft hobbyist.
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